FWH is hot and cold. He is doing the work and he is not doing the work. He has cut ties (formally) with several friends. Friends I did not like because they either directly aided his Affair or indirectly (stood silently by). He has been pulling away for some time now and has been seeing them in a different light. This past fall he has removed them from his phone contact list, removed them from facebook and other social media accounts. But then he has started talking to a woman at work. Mentioned her to me. Then he mentioned that she has little girl the same age as our 2 year old. Wouldn’t it be nice if he could arrange a playdate. Something doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t know if I am afraid of getting burned again and paranoid or if my gut is trying to tell me something.
I know what I would counsel someone else. Communicate your discomfort. Let him know how you feel. Let him know your thoughts. Its easy to tell someone else what they should do. Its easy to have perspective when you are not in the middle of it.
I hate this.
I know what needs to be done. So why to I clam up. I am doing that a lot recently. I’m unhappy with our sex life, so instead of speaking up – I am retreating inward. I don’t like a behavior he is exhibiting. Why is it so difficult to stand up for myself? Why is it so difficult speak? Why is it so difficult to articulate what I want? I don’t know. I don’t have the answer for that one.
Healing from my husband's affairs-my journey back 